Saturday, March 28, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
DORM LIFE: UPDATE
It's Tuesday and I didn't update Monday's update of the Dorm Life update.
So here's the update. Dorm life
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
POWER RANGERS
When I was a child, right up until I was a sophomore in high school, I desperately wanted to be a power ranger. Now I'm nothing but an insecure closet case. I want(ed) to be the Green Ranger so badly. Dragonzord!
Green Ranger got the best costume, turned into White Ranger, AND had sexual relations with Pink Ranger.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
Tell me how a prepubescent boy would not want to be that.
Any of it.
I'd be the head in the fish bowl if I could.
Also Kimberly (Amy Jo Johnson) was in my pre-spanking spank bank
I haven't thought about her in while, but I'm temporarily reenlisting her in my top 10 spank bankables.
Then:
Now:
Still spankable.
Green Ranger got the best costume, turned into White Ranger, AND had sexual relations with Pink Ranger.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
Tell me how a prepubescent boy would not want to be that.
Any of it.
I'd be the head in the fish bowl if I could.
Also Kimberly (Amy Jo Johnson) was in my pre-spanking spank bank
I haven't thought about her in while, but I'm temporarily reenlisting her in my top 10 spank bankables.
Then:
Now:
Still spankable.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
ALL THAT!
Reminiscing on the good ole days.
Also, remember when Kenan Thompson was on All That?
These are some famous quotes from his classic character "Everyday French with Pierre Escargot"
Write 'em down. Use 'em all the time.
May I take a nap in your nose? Ho Ho Ho Ho!
I have not showered in 36 days! Ho Ho Ho Ho!
Take those porkchops out of your brasierre! Ho Ho Ho Ho!
May I pop my pimple on your lasagna? Ho... Ho... Ho... Ho!
DORM LIFE
I've always lived off-campus.
So I live vicariously through Dorm-Life
Dorm-Life is everything I imagine dorm life to be; condensed into digestible 10 minute comedic segments.
Here's the first episode of the first semester.
They're already on semester 2
New episodes every monday.
I'll post them from now on
So I live vicariously through Dorm-Life
Dorm-Life is everything I imagine dorm life to be; condensed into digestible 10 minute comedic segments.
Here's the first episode of the first semester.
They're already on semester 2
New episodes every monday.
I'll post them from now on
Monday, March 16, 2009
MUSTACHE!
A moustache makes the asshole.
It's an old saying.
Moustached-men are a blight on the earth.
Prove they aren't.
Hitler.
Dr. Phil.
Yosemite Sam.
This guy:
Ok, maybe they're not all assholes. Dr. Phil and Yosemite Sam are just misunderstood.
All I'm saying is.
Jesus was a great guy. Had a moustache. Got him killed.
I can't grow a moustache. I'm grateful.
It's an old saying.
Moustached-men are a blight on the earth.
Prove they aren't.
Hitler.
Dr. Phil.
Yosemite Sam.
This guy:
Ok, maybe they're not all assholes. Dr. Phil and Yosemite Sam are just misunderstood.
All I'm saying is.
Jesus was a great guy. Had a moustache. Got him killed.
I can't grow a moustache. I'm grateful.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The Daily Show: CNBC Gives Financial Advice
The Daily Show: CNBC Gives Financial Advice
Video sent by ComedyCentral
Visit the official site www.thedailyshow.com/
CNBC's Rick Santelli is angry that those loser homeowners are going to get bailed out.
© 2008 MTV Networks
Saturday, March 14, 2009
VAGINA DENTATA
Toothed Vagina
Is it myth? Reality?
GoddessCafe says vagina dentata is, "the classic symbol of men's fear of sex, expressing the unconscious belief that a woman may eat or castrate her partner during intercourse."
It's a belief I have about women; their period is actually a time where they grow teeth for 5 days. I'd be moody too with a set of canines between my thighs. Which is why they're more sexually frustrated - they're trying to satisfy two. It's like eating for them and the baby.
An example:
Few know that the Sarlacc in Star Wars Return of the Jedi is actually based on what Rosie O'Donnell's vagina is believed to look like:
bffls? 
It's called symbiosis
Is it myth? Reality?
GoddessCafe says vagina dentata is, "the classic symbol of men's fear of sex, expressing the unconscious belief that a woman may eat or castrate her partner during intercourse."
It's a belief I have about women; their period is actually a time where they grow teeth for 5 days. I'd be moody too with a set of canines between my thighs. Which is why they're more sexually frustrated - they're trying to satisfy two. It's like eating for them and the baby.
An example:
Few know that the Sarlacc in Star Wars Return of the Jedi is actually based on what Rosie O'Donnell's vagina is believed to look like:
bffls? It's called symbiosis
Friday, March 13, 2009
THE BIG WAZOWSKI
If you know me, then you know I love the BIG LEBOWSKI.
You know that I've seen it more times this year than I've seen my own family.
Monsters Inc. contains references to the Big Lebowski.
One man was clever enough to put it together.
You know that I've seen it more times this year than I've seen my own family.
Monsters Inc. contains references to the Big Lebowski.
One man was clever enough to put it together.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
SONGSMITH gets RICK-ROLL'D
Microsoft created a software to compete with Apple's GarageBand.
It's called Songsmith.
Here's how it works:
1. sing or upload a vocal track to songsmith
2. songsmith creates a backing band based on what it thinks the genre/ key/ style/ etc is.
3. it puts it together to create cheesy midi madness
RICK ASTLEY
an example above. (Youtube won't let it be embedded)
anyway there are hundreds of versions of many songs.
check out
WONDERWALL
INTERGALLACTIC
WHAT'S GOING ON
and an exception to the rule...perhaps a better version of a song.
It's called Songsmith.
Here's how it works:
1. sing or upload a vocal track to songsmith
2. songsmith creates a backing band based on what it thinks the genre/ key/ style/ etc is.
3. it puts it together to create cheesy midi madness
RICK ASTLEY
an example above. (Youtube won't let it be embedded)
anyway there are hundreds of versions of many songs.
check out
WONDERWALL
INTERGALLACTIC
WHAT'S GOING ON
and an exception to the rule...perhaps a better version of a song.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
WIKI-SEX
The equivalent of looking up sex in the dictionary is not googling sex.
It's wikipedia-ing it.
It's still funny at 20.
Maybe that says something about me.
Or maybe it says something about sex.
If I was 13, I'd put the Wiki-page in my spank bank. Right next to the Victoria Secret catalogs and the movie Titanic.
If animals produced their own version of Cosmo, it would be so much raunchier.
TOP 10 WAYS TO UNLEASH HIS INNER BEAST
That's an "O" face if I ever saw one.
It's wikipedia-ing it.
It's still funny at 20.
Maybe that says something about me.
Or maybe it says something about sex.
If I was 13, I'd put the Wiki-page in my spank bank. Right next to the Victoria Secret catalogs and the movie Titanic.
If animals produced their own version of Cosmo, it would be so much raunchier.
TOP 10 WAYS TO UNLEASH HIS INNER BEAST
That's an "O" face if I ever saw one.
PICNIC-FACE
I don't understand the name picnic-face
I'm having a mid-life crisis too.
I really empathize with this character.
I think the baby is a symbol of his frustration with the American Dream.
And I like to make babies.
I'm having a mid-life crisis too.
I really empathize with this character.
I think the baby is a symbol of his frustration with the American Dream.
And I like to make babies.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
GARFIELD MINUS GARFIELD
"Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb."
-The Garfield minus Garfield story.
It's just funny to see how depressing Jon actually is.
BLACK 20
First of all. I'm pimping Black20.com
Black20 is a hilarious brew of viral videos.
They took what was left of their minimal funds and bet it all on one roulette spin.
Hilarity ensued.
They produce large quantities of their online talk show THE MIDDLE SHOW and their own webisodes NET_WORK.
Incredible, right?
Watch Net_work.
Every episode.
And anything with David Price.
Black20 is a hilarious brew of viral videos.
They took what was left of their minimal funds and bet it all on one roulette spin.
Hilarity ensued.
They produce large quantities of their online talk show THE MIDDLE SHOW and their own webisodes NET_WORK.
Incredible, right?
Watch Net_work.
Every episode.
And anything with David Price.
That's Funny
Delivering what you've been missing.
You didn't even know this was here.
Oh, that's funny.
You didn't even know this was here.
Oh, that's funny.
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